living with UNCERTAINTY
Day 51. As states have begun to lift stay at home orders, and as that yet undetermined date gets closer in the Washington DC area, I am trying to get a handle on what exactly it will mean for me .Quite frankly, it’s concerning. For example, what will judges require or demand in terms of when and how my cases are to proceed? Will they require the lawyers “to make up the lost time” and proceed immediately with depositions etc?. Will I be required to attend in person depositions with 10 or 15 people in a conference room for days at end? Will I be ordered to conduct complex depositions and hearings by video? Will I have to resume my travel to attend court hearings and depositions in other cities and states? My overarching concern – Will I be forced to do things that make me uncomfortable from a health and safety perspective while the Corona virus remains a very real threat?
These are not my only concerns. What about our law firm? When will we return to 1742 N Street NW? How do we maintain the health and safety of our firm while the Corona virus continues to infect? How long will the economic effects of Covid-19 last? How acute will they be?
So many questions. So many uncertainties. So many things to worry about.
For the last 50 days, thanks to the stay at home orders, I have enjoyed a modicum of control over my personal health and safety decisions. I have decided where I would go and where I would not go, what I would do or and what I would avoid doing, and what precautions I deemed necessary for my health and safety. The lifting of the stay at home orders removes to an unknown degree that level of personal control.
Monday of this week was difficult as I worried (obsessed?) over these many uncertainties and my impending loss of control. It took a day or so before I came to learn another important lesson from this pandemic. And that is this. At times I (we) may feel, may even believe, that I (we) “are in control”; but in reality I (we) am not. While, of course, I can try to plan ahead, more importantly, I need to take each day and its uncertainties, day by day, and believe that in the end things will work out. There is no other way.
“Control” is a figment of one’s imagination. Uncertainty is real. Living with it and managing it is the key. Another lesson from the pandemic.